Technology and the birthing process

While reading Anne Drapkin Lyerly’s “Shame, Gender, and Birth” it made me think about how I would want my birthing process to go if I decide to have children. This question made me want to ask my mother how she felt about her birthing experiences. Lyerly in her article talks about how technology can impact women’s experience when they are giving birth. Lyerly talks about how technology can increase the birthing process. Lyerly shows about her opposition of Barbara Rothman’s “medical model” that talks about how technology can cause women to have a loss of control and dissatisfaction with the birthing experience. I decided to ask my mother about the use of technology in the birthing process to see where she stands.

According to my mother she had experiences of the birthing process with and without technology. Although she still went to a hospital when giving birth to my brother she told me that by the time she made it to the hospital she was 10 cm dilated.  According to her my brother just popped out and she didn’t have any time for an epidural or any other source of pain medicine.  I on the other hand was the complicated one. She had an appointment to have me turned because I was upside down. Her physician realized she was going into labor when she was in the hospital and she had to have an immediate sea section. She explains that I was cut out and given right to her, which is why she felt she was not disconnected from the experience. She explains that she felt the mind/body connection for both of her birthing processes even with the use of technology.

While thinking about how I would go about my birthing process I think I would use technology. I agree with Lyerly that it can help reinforce the mind/body and maternal/fetal connection in pregnancy. Technology can be a helpful way to assist women thru their birthing process. This does make me wonder what other women think about the use of technology for the birthing process. How do women decide if they want a natural birth or to use technology?

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My experience with a Disability

When I was four years old I was diagnosed with a neurological disorder called Charcot Marie Tooth. CMT is one of the most commonly inherently peripheral neuropathy found worldwide, yet no one seems to know what it is. CMT causes patients to slowly lose normal use of their hands and legs as nerves degenerate and muscles deteriorate because the affected nerves no longer stimulate the muscles. My parents told me they started noticing me walking differently when I was four. They decided to take me to a pediatrician to see if they could figure out what was going on with my walking. This first doctor told my parents he wasn’t sure what was wrong but he would try to fix me by breaking my legs and casting them up. According to my parents they picked me up at that moment and ran out of the hospital. Luckily, my uncle had lived by a pediatric orthopedic specialist who was able to recommend us to a neurologist who was able to diagnose me with Charcot Marie Tooth.I had my first surgery when I was five on both of my legs. Symptoms started showing up in my hands when I got older and I have had three surgeries on my right hand. I now have to use leg braces to walk around because I can barely walk around without them.

I often find myself trying to do things that my mind wants to but my body wont let me. Many of the authors from this week talked about having a disconnecting with their mind and bodies. With their bodies not letting them do what they mentally want to. When Iwas reading Avery’s Rip Tides I related to her story of when she was trying to swim and got caught in a wave and needed her friends to help her get out. This happens to me frequently. Even when it comes to steps I will always have friends run next to me and help pull me up stairs because I can’t do it on my own.

The authors also talk about their struggle with identifying as a person with a disability. Avery explains how she had trouble finding a way to identify her-self when it comes to her disability. She talks about how she doesn’t know if she is passing for able-bodies or passing for disabled. I related to Avery when it comes to identity because I also do not know if I am passing as able-bodies or disabled. I often have people run up to me and ask why I am walking so weird and at the same time if I explain my disability to people I will often get “oh, I didn’t even notice you were walking differently.” For me I mostly label myself as a person with a disability. It’s something I have always had and will always have so labeling myself with a disability does not upset me. Sometimes that labelhelps me feel more connected to others with disabilities and not so much an outcast. Hopefully in the future more people with disabilities will be able to feel comfortable identifying as a person with a disability and not be ashamed of it. 

The picture is of me when I had my first surgery.

Chaz Bono on DWTS

Matt Kailey’s article about Chaz Bono on TV reminded me of the uproar that has been going on since it was announced that Chaz would be on the cast of Dancing with the Stars. Kailey talks about the people who are offended that Chaz will be on DWTS. There are many concerned parents that don’t know what they will tell their children. This reminded me of a story I found on Fox news titled: Don’t let your kids watch Chaz Bono on Dancing with the Stars. The article claims vulnerable children don’t need to watch a crowd applaud for someone who is still searching for their identity. He believes that the tomboyish girls and the less masculine boy will see Chaz on TV and believe the answer to their problems is to change themselves completely. I some how don’t believe that is what children will be thinking.  Another story I found by Juju Chang called: Talking to your kids about Chaz Bono. She explains how when interviewing children, gender identity issues are actually easier for them to understand rather than adults. Children think if you are born inside a girl then on the outside you should be a girl too. That is why children watching DWTS won’t jump to the conclusion that they should have a sex change. Along with that, children will watch Chaz and see a boy and girl dancing together. To them there is nothing wrong with that. Matt Kailey’s article about Chaz Bono sums it up nicely. While watching DWTS children will see a boy and a girl dancing together, nothing too difficult for them to understand.

Chaz Bono on TV has brought up many issues that our society in uncomfortable dealing with. One of the many issues is the Chelsea Handler situation where she comments on Chaz Bono getting a penis has caused uproar with GLAAD who demanded an apology from her. Chaz has also caused controversy with parents afraid to let their children watch him on TV. I think this controversy can be a good thing for our society. Finally show that trans people do exist and start getting their issues talked about more.

Male height

As I was reading “height” and “The Tall and the Short of it” it reminded me of the men in my life. My father is 5’11 and my brother is 5’4. Thinking back I can’t remember any situations my dad would complain about his height. At 5’11 he was tall enough to pass as masculine and didn’t need to make up for it in other ways. My brother on the other hand is very short. His height has always been a popular conversation within my family. He had wrestled for most of his life and was very serious about working out to build his muscles. Idhe talks about how he was one of the last kids chosen to play in sports because of his size. My brother went thru the same situation in grade school. No one wants a shrimpy kid on their team. As soon as he hit middle school he was going to put an end to that. Working out became a main priority for him; he had joined the wrestling team and began working out everyday. He always felt because he was so short he needed to prove he was masculine by bulking up. When he joined the wrestling team he proved to everyone that he could be masculine even without being tall.

Brand explains when he meets guys taller then him he hates them. Being taller would give other guys an automatic two strikes against them. This reminds me of my brother exactly. Any time I am with him I will hear at least make one comment about how tall another guy is. One of his very best friends happened to be 6’5 and towered over him. My brother became very confident in his body after middle school because of his strength but height will always be a sore subject for him. According to Idhe, masculine embodiment is still socially embedded. Reading these articles does make me wonder if it will ever be acceptable for men to be short. Luckily my tiny brother made the best of his situation but maybe one day short men can still be seen as masculine.

Size acceptance is not just for girls

As I was reading Martha McCaughey and Sir Gabe’s article I kept thinking about my brother. Throughout high school he was a wrestler, which had made him obsessed about his body. Although he was never a compulsive bodybuilder he still had some of the same characteristics as a bodybuilder. He was obsessed with getting his muscles bigger. He would take body supplements to help him transform his body and spend his entire afternoon working out. Even though he tried to get his muscles as big as he could, he still did it for the love of the sport. I agree with McCaughey that bodybuilders are not trying to conform their gender but rather they experience discomfort with feminine characteristics. Most wrestlers experienced this. It was common for wrestlers to make fun of each other calling them a “bitch” and trying to make them feel feminine. To my brother, keeping himself in shape and growing his muscles was a way to avoid others thinking he might have feminine characteristics. Fast forward six years, my brother has been out of high school and done with wrestling. He now works in an office job that doesn’t involve much physical activity. I now see my brother experiencing fatphobia. Sir Gabe explained how men experience fatphobia because a fat man may have feminine characteristics such as their chest resembling breasts. My brother is not close to being fat what so ever but he is still obsessed with becoming fat. He has changed his obsession from growing muscles to gaining weight. He has lost the six-pack on his abs, which has been replaced by fat; his muscles are not as toned, and according to him his butt is getting bigger. Every time I see him I will find him checking himself out in the mirror trying to flex his abs to see if he can find the old six-pack. I completely agree with Sir Gabe that fat acceptance is for guys too. I have noticed this my whole life watching my brother struggle with his body conformity. I don’t know what his body will look like in the future but I am sure whatever it is, I will see him obsessing about it.

Cosmetic Surgery

Within my four years of college I have noticed a significant change in my skin. Although I still do not have any wrinkles I am still scared to death of aging. Reading Davis and Stevens articles added a little extra to that anxiety. In Stiff Upper Lip, Stevens explains her obsession with the wrinkles on her upper lip. After visiting a dermatologist and having an unsuccessful acid peel, Stevens finally accepted the wrinkles were meant to be a part of her. Similarly, Davis explains surgical passing, which is an idea that cosmetic surgery helps people to pass as younger. In our society we are expected to look young and beautiful our entire life. If we have anything about our body we are uncomfortable with, we fix it. While reading these articles I thought of the show Bridalplasty which women fight for not only their perfect wedding but for their dream plastic surgery. The women complete a plastic surgery wish list and the winner of that weeks challenge will receive one plastic surgery procedure from her wish list.   The show had appalled me when I first heard about it but I was sucked in and forced to watch it. These young women wanted plastic surgery to pass as sexier for their wedding. As I watched it I always wondered what their significant other thought about this. They obviously already think these women are beautiful so why do they still need plastic surgery? Our society is pushing them in to believing they need to fix things about themselves to look more beautiful.

 

I see this problem everywhere, my friends all think there is something they would like to change about themselves, my mother complains about the wrinkles on her face, my young cousins at the age of 14 even find flaws about their bodies. Why is it that all women are insecure about something on their body? Even at 21 I still find flaws about myself. I have never thought about having cosmetic surgery but that may change someday as I get older. My mother makes comments about her body/face all the time and wishes she could have a facelift. I always think my mother is crazy for these comments because she is beautiful and I hope to age just as well as her. The one thing that does ease my anxiety about aging is looking at my mother and seeing how beautiful she is. I always wish she would realize this. Not only my mother but any other women with insecurities. We don’t need to have cosmetic surgery to look more beautiful. I wonder how the beauty ideal will change the next few years. Will cosmetic surgery become the norm?

Menstrual closet

Fourth grade, the year every female received the dreadful talk about Menarche and becoming a woman. The period was so stigmatized that not only boys would make jokes about it, but girls too. Of course as soon as the first girl in our class started getting her period she became the target for all the jokes. This led all the other girls to lie if they began to have their period. One day at school all the girls from fourth grade up were called into an emergency meeting with the principle. We found out that one of the toilets in the girl’s bathroom had overflowed because of someone tried to flush a pad down. Thinking about that situation now I wonder why anyone would think that would be a good idea. Then I remember, the only trash cans were outside of the stalls. There was nowhere inside the stall to throw dirty pads.  Our fourth grade class had made every girl terrified to throw away her pad in front of other girls.

The girls in my class were experiencing being in the menstrual closet. Iris Marion Young talks about how women feel they need to conceal their menstrual process.  She talks about how women have a set of rules we follow: don’t talk about your menstrual cycle and keep signs of your menstrual cycle hidden. My fourth grade class made sure that all the females would follow these rules. We kept all the girls in the menstrual closet by making them feel shame about Menarche. Looking back, I don’t understand why my class thought this was such a big deal. We made all the girls terrified of having their first period. Everyone felt public shame to the point that they tried to flush a pad down the toilet. I wish back then we understood how important Menarche is. It’s an important part of a woman’s life where she is starting womanhood. Instead of the girls in my class feeling excited about this major part of their life, they were terrified. We all felt disgusted and shameful about our period. I wonder if Menarche is still experienced as shameful to young girls today? If so, how can we change this and make girls see this process as a big step in life?

Daddy says so

As a child dress up was always one of my favorite games. My friends and I would put make up on each, put on our fanciest dresses and walk around our street like we were on a runway. Playing dress up was a regular activity for us so when my next-door neighbor Kevin wanted to join us we never thought it was an issue, we quickly found out we were wrong. One day we put Kevin in our hot pink tube dress, a matching hot pink hat, with some high heels and he was ready to go. His turn on our runway down the street only lasted about half way past one house when we saw his father running after us. Shortly after his father gave all of us a speech about how boys are not supposed to wear girls clothing. We obviously chose not listen to his father and instead just helped him dress up as a girl behind closed doors.

It took me a few years to understand why Kevin’s dad did not want him playing dress up with us. He was not following societies idea of how a boy should be acting.  I’m sure his father would have rather seen him playing soccer with his brother and friends because that is what ‘boys’ do. When I read Toril Moi’s proposal of the lived body replacing the distinction between sex and gender I understood how it could be beneficial. Moi proposes that the lived body will refer to specific facts of physical body including sexual and reproductive differences. The lived body would have the physical facticity of a ‘woman’ or ‘man’ each with differences in sexual feelings and desires. People would experience their desires and feeling in different ways that do not neatly correlate with sexual dimorphism or heterosexual norms.

The lived body would refuse the distinction between nature and culture that grounds a distinction between sex and gender. Because the body learns a very young age what is culturally expected of them, the lived body would always be encultred eliminating this problem. We learn what is required to be a ‘man’ or a ‘woman’ by observing the people around us. The lived body would be helpful to people like Kevin because he would not be punished for wanting to wear girl clothing. People would have the choice to be who they want without worrying about they are viewed in society. The question is if society would accept the lived body or do people feel too comfortable with gender?